GoCar in Barcelona!

Tiago and I decided that we needed a break from our studies in Budapest and hopped on a plan to Spain. We visited Barcelona and Madrid over the weekend. In Barcelona we rented a GoCar- it is a small scooter-like vehicle in which we did our sight-seeing. It has a built-in GPS which gives the information of all the famous sights and it was a great experience!
This is Tiago waiting in the passenger seat for me:

This is also me resting next to the beautiful tiled stairs in Barcelona:


Check it out!
http://www.gocartours.es/

I NEED SOME PEACE!

I am freaking out! I want to procrastinate. I want to do everything but work. I need to type up my notes on Medieval Economic History and my attention span is about at a zero.

I am listening to Vivaldi's The Four Seasons- Summer. Favorite music ever.

xoxo.

colorblind.

I am colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am taffy stuck and tongue tied
Stutter shook and uptight
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am fine
I am covered in skin
No one gets to come in
Pull me out from inside
I am folded and unfolded and unfolding
I am colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am fine (

take me or leave me.

Today was one of the most horrible days to date.

I don't want to live here.

Maybe the third week of school is too early to be having a freak-out fest but oh well, because I am.

I hate when things happen unannounced. I hate when I can't do things the way that I want to do them (I mean as well as I know I can).

This sick perfectionism is killing me.

I accidentally had a late assignment because I completely forgot. This has never happened to me and it took all of my strength left not to cry.

My latest obsession is leggings! If I could, I would live in them!

I'm exhausted, baby.

1. I am the Deputy History Department Representative.
2. Carrying readers around makes my arms hurt.
3. I made a new friend today while sitting on a bench because I couldn't walk any further.

God, give me the energy I need. And everything else, too!

xoxo.

not really understanding...

I know you don't listen to me
'Cause you say you see straight through me, don't you?

It really just hit me that things will never be the same again. My family will never be together again. I think maybe I don't really understand what this all means.

I remember listening to Coldplay driving in my car in California loving my independence. And now I don't want independence any more. It is very strange.

I feel very strange. So full of emotions but most of all, I feel confused.

Tryin' to make ends meet.

Dearest,

I had one of the laziest days today and it makes me feel terrible. Tomorrow I am going running! I absolutely have to.

<3

I hate love. And even worse, I hate being in love because it completely messes me up. After the disaster with Richie maybe I should have learned my lesson.

I have the swine flu and it is very unpleasant.

Q'tips have become cutie pies.
heeby jeebies have become itsy bitsy.

The church bells are ringing and the sirens are wailing at the ame time.

live and learn.

So much for trusting people, I guess. I do not know where to draw boundaries and it is really irritating me. I hate when people lie. I hate it more than anything. I mean, come on, why not tell the truth in the first place? I believe that the truth sets you free. It is stupid and dumb and immature and I wonder when I will learn my lesson. But I guess this is one of those things about life, right...you live and you learn.

I feel overwhelmed and it is quite unpleasant. I cannot wait for things to settle down and to feel like I have a home and I belong somewhere again. Hi graduate school!!!

xoxo.



I came back from Roma last week and this is my favorite picture. I have always wanted to feed the pigeons in Piazza San Pietro!

highway to hell/stairway to heaven.

Dear Journal,

It seems that the things I look forward to the most turn out the very worst.

xx.

"Only time."

Order of business:
1. Happy Birthday, Justin!

2. I handed in my abstract for the conference and as per usual, my nerves are killing me. I really really want to present and the topic is so perfect. I hate that I get this nervous right after I sent it in. I just have to be patient and wait, I know, I know.
3. My Rome trip is almost here and I haven't done my itinerary yet! Or packed or anything!

xoxo.

I'm in an excitable mood today. Right now everything seems possible.

Best dream last night ever.

xoxo.

In my darkest moments, I don't really know what to do with myself.

I'll always look out for you.

This was supposed to be the summer of me. The one time I can dedicate all of my time and energy to figuring out who I am. And doing it unabashedly because I want to feel life every second from now on.

"Did I drive you away?
I know what you'll say"
-Sparks by Coldplay

something, i'm not really sure.

So, maybe I should make a list of some stuff.

1. Dear Berkeley, I don't care about Tele-BEARS appointments. I'm done. Maybe you weren't present at my graduation but I sure was. Not so fond of bureaucracy.

2. I really did discover the secret to life. Just get rid of all of the negativity in your life. This is gonna be a difficult one.

3. BE MYSELF.

4. BELIEVE IN MYSELF.

5. This really is it.

6. BE TRUE.